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Monday 2 February 2015
Lips sealed @15:24 It's been a year since i came here. Was looking for a place to pour out my feelings to & suddenly thought of my dusty blog kept in the dark recesses of the internet realm. It's already 2015.. I'm 24 this year..
What am i doing with my life. Upon reflection, i find myself asking myself the same question every year. LOL I'm lost.
So here are my resolutions for the remaining 11 months of this year which i will attempt to achieve albeit half-heartedly
Was in a 4 months relationship recently. I know when people find out we're not together anymore tongues will start wagging. But again, since when do people not talk? He's an example of what i tried to settle for. But when you settle for something, you won't put in a whole lot of effort. When you settle for something and it demands for more attention, more effort; you can't be bothered to do it anymore.
Right from the start, I trusted him with a secret and he betrayed my trust. Yes, I'm not a person that will be harping on the past when quarreling. But that does not mean i will forget about it. How i feel about you in the early stages will accumulate and result in how i treat you. Yes, he was sweet for awhile. He would come and surprise me with cupcakes, buy me food etc. Yet when my thinking differs from his and we start to have conflicts..
He asked "Why i do this and that for you and you never do those back for me?"
Hey, why not shouldn't all these be done willingly? How can you do things for me that I didn't ask for and expect me to do back for you? If this is the case, I very much rather you not do tyvm. There's no sincerity at all and frankly, then don't waste your time. In addition, i hate people that use violence.. Can't see this relationship has any future and I guess it's a better choice to end it earlier.
How do we know what is like.. What is love.. Who stays forever and who walks away.. If the people that are currently in my life right now will walk away one day, I rather they walk away right now. I depend on people easily. So please, dont make me lean on you and walk away one day.
You're my last romance; x Saturday 25 January 2014 Lips sealed @13:58 I'll do whatever it takes Gladdened that it seems i think too much alr, things seem to be how it is how it was. Missed your teasing, missed the sound of your voice. Everytime i hear the smile in your voice, i cant help but smile to myself. Jst want you to be happy everyday. Sometimes i think they should let us report retards or people who are uncooperative. So that we wont meet them in ranked omg. So annoying when we lose due to idiots who are over-complacent!! MY PROVISIONAL. :@ Going to have my last match soon, now i only hope i wont be placed in silver~ You're my last romance; x Monday 20 January 2014 Lips sealed @15:46 Page 20 of 365, Recently something happened & feeling rly shitty about it. It seems as though i keep getting lessons about how fucked up people are. Friends are always telling me not to be so naive & be so trusting. Stop looking at the world in rainbows. I see colors everywhere, i give people the benefit of doubt, i believe as friends we should accept how they are like. Yet.. Ty for proving me wrong! For letting me know you're so unworthy of it. Deleted you from my life, as i should have done long ago as other people advised. As we grow up, our circle of friends get smaller. But it's that small group of friends that matter. Those that will be there for you in times of need. If you'll leave one day, go now. Cos the worst thing a person can do to another is to give false hopes. You're my last romance; x Thursday 16 January 2014 Lips sealed @16:49 I feel happy today~
Met up with Vixard & Xeo ystd. Chilled, went to lan shop, had Yong He for late dins. Love the lannnnnn~ It's jst beside my place, awesomely cheap, can smoke while gaming, can order food, & no lags with only the occasional spikes!! Downside is that it's filled with ***** people ):
Next 2 weeks there will be no school cos of cny soon, i must must catch up with all my notes~ gotta study hard jst in case i can teach You're my last romance; x Friday 10 January 2014 Lips sealed @19:13 Guess one of the worst feelings in the world is, when the person is right beside you & you've never felt so far away before.. Things are so monotone, bland, devoid of all feelings. Not rly sure why are we still hanging along like that. Should we jst end things now once & for all? When it's so obvious we have reached the end of the path we had been walking together? We have nothing to talk about anymore, i can't even smile when i'm with you, i feel bored beyond words & awkward.. Yet, 3 years of feelings.. All that i've put in. So resentful to let go.. & maybe in a way i'm seeing it as a defeat if we end things? BUT, if you propose to me today, my answer will be a no. How ironic things are right now. People used to dissuade me from you, now they're asking me to try to work things out. You're my last romance; x Tuesday 7 January 2014 Lips sealed @20:09 2nd day of school today; & i didnt go for both days D: Wanted to talk to him so much that i'd rather play till the wee hours than head to bed.. Reflecting back, honestly i dont rly want to feel the same way how i felt for J the first year. The waiting, the uncertainty, the hopelessness everyday.
& i realized, the more waiting a person does, the more you elevate the person in your heart & mind to a standard that he or she will be unable to fulfill when you guys finally get together.
On a lighter note, did my nails ystd after 2 long yearsssss. Cant stop staring at my nails, in love!! Went to meet J, WeiKiat, Batkhuu & Ramlan after that for dins, then had a pint at 313. Dont remember the name of the draft i had, but it was damn yummy~ Should i or should i not dye my hair purple?! D: You're my last romance; x |
 K R Y S T A L ♥ ; If the road ahead is not so easy, our love will lead the way for us, like a guiding star. I'll be there for you if you should need me, you don't have to change a thing, i love you just the way you are. January 2014 February 2015 Designer : Chili. x o |